My rants, My style

A looking glass

2011-08-06T07:59:00.006+08:00

Life in the UK has been good, to me anyways. I don't have any issues with money nor have I left my textbooks completely untouched (I got study ok!... a bit). I'm able to experience the joy of living with your close buddies (Being able to live together with friends is extremely fun!) and I even started cooking for myself on a not-so-daily basis while learning some new dishes in the process (which involves randomly dumping stuff in the pot anyway). I've missed a few day trips, including trips to Scotland and Land's End but heck, at least I don't have hectic schedule like my friends.

Generally everything seems to be going well on my end. But as I get closer to my friends, I began to realize their time in the UK for many, are all but a bed of roses. One friend in particular has been extremely unlucky these past few days. I can only feel sorry for my friend and do nothing to help.

In any case, listening to them actually made me think more about myself. I often think that my own life is messy but it probably isn't as bad as I make it to be. Have I been taking my life for granted? I always do things half-hardheartedly and have always assumed that things would turn out for the better. I don't appreciate what I already have and just seem to toss them around. Perhaps I'm too selfish or self centered; I have people who care deeply for me but I treat them as though as they're unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

So what do I make of all this? That I should treat people close to me better? Appreciate my life more? I don't know. It's silly really, to be thinking about stuffs like these and not planning to do anything about it. What's the point of all the thinking then? I guess this is just how my brain works. I'll probably end up turning into a better person... or not, maybe someday, I hope.

Tired of my own thoughts

2011-04-27T03:10:00.001+08:00

A recent invitation to a gathering brought back the thoughts buried deep within me. I thought I had forgotten. From then on, I think about it from time to time. I rage about it. Sometimes, I’d even imagine myself killing them to quench my hate. I’m sick and tired of these thoughts. I’m probably the only person still thinking about it while nobody else cares anyway.

Thinking back, on my dear’s birthday gathering, I wanted to go home, leave and not give a damn about everything. I know I’m bad with directions and when he suggested to go somewhere else even after our part of the group have arrived there, I snapped. I wanted to say, “GO LA, I KNOW I DON’T HAVE A CAR. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT, YOU’RE THE DRIVER ANYWAY. TAKE THEM WHEREVER YOU WANT”. I knew what he said was a joke, yet I was filled with nothing but rage. I passed the phone to another friend and reflected on my own thoughts. What kind of a bastard am I? The kind who would leave behind his loved one? To not share the special day with her just to satisfy my own hatred?

Even after so many months, I still can’t let go of the past. At times I feel like moving away, somewhere where I won’t ever see any of them ever again. If this were a movie/film/novel, there’d be a close friend advising the character not to run away and face his problems head on or letting it go right? I grew up as a coward, I would rather run away than to face my problems head on. I’d picture myself with a successful career overseas so that I will never have to come back here.

I’m tired. Very tired. All I can do these days is to ask the Lord for forgiveness and to help me relieve me from my misery. I don’t want to be trapped in this pit of torture within my own mind anymore. I just want it to stop. I had to turn down the gathering invitation because I’m afraid of seeing them again. I have tried putting more of my heart into love but at the end of the day, I will continue to think about it. God, I beg of you. Whatever it takes, please, free me from this prison.

Some thinking..

2010-11-04T02:10:00.005+08:00

Another emo post.. oh joy! ~*(^___^)*~
Something a friend posted made me think several wall of texts. Well, he posted;

If you can't stand on the way how people will criticize,judging or look at you...; Seriously I doubt that if you can ever survive in this tough cruel bitchy world.

I guess, like he said, you just need to suck it up and move on.
But it's kind of a mystery how people works. One minute they may humiliate you and the next moment after they've seen the effectiveness of their grand cannons they quickly turn 180 degrees and start feeling pity and un-equipping their big guns, changing into morally upright people; or they could just bomb you further until you commit suicide / move into far far away~ and start afresh - hopefully securing a better social position than in the past (possibly, ironically turning into a bully themselves to overshadow what they used to be).

Either way, if everyone is doing the same thing to you, doesn't that means that there must be something wrong with you? Under normal circumstances, this is what the "victim" would feel. It's easy to just tell them to suck it up or not to be bothered by it. We usually say things like, "don't care la" and often take other people's feelings for granted by having this perception that they must work it through themselves. Have we not considered that some "victims" can't take the hit?

"It's just a joke", is what they feel, right through the very end. "It's his/her problem for taking it seriously". Generally, people don't care but "victims" usually feel otherwise. It's not that easy to just suck it up and move on - not without the help of others. I guess without white knights saving them, they probably won't ever survive in this "tough cruel bitchy world".

Having said all that crap, should I have thanked God that I had the aid of several white knights? Even though the knights in question were the ones who threw me in the puddle of shit in the first place? It's kind of a mystery how people works...

A list-

2010-10-01T02:53:00.001+08:00

-of what I’ve accomplished during my holidays

1. celebrated Simon & S.K.’s spawn date

2. finally man up and continued with my driving ;_;

3. celebrated half-a-versary with my soh poh <3

4. 2nd attempt at Breath of Fire IV after first attempt ended
     due to error while saving file and completed at 45-ish
     hours of gameplay.

5. Finished Final Fantasy Tactics Advance with 87 hours.

6. Went to a cinema for a first time in a few months.

-of things that need to be done with this blog

1. find a better template

2. add more gay posts

3. needs moar pictahs

4. possibly a new name + address

5. thinking whether I should remove previous hate posts
     - I pictured this blog to be full of cold jokes. seriously.
       maybe leave one or two. i don’t know. should I? ;(

6. I <3 Hot & Rolls (for the sake of filling up no.6~)

An apology

2010-09-18T21:39:00.004+08:00

I wish to apologize for any unhappy emotions stirred up by

my previous post. I must admit, from the way that I’ve

written that post, it seemed like I was verbally assaulting or

trying to badmouth another person. I assure that it was not

my motive for publishing that post. I intended for it to

highlight my inability to act/lack of initiative to act in

addition to hurting the feelings of my beloved.

I had no idea that my post had such a tone until I re-read it

again after being pointed out by a friend. Again I’m deeply

sorry for any misconceptions caused due to my rant.

A hypocrite myself, I have absolutely no right to judge a

person like that, not to mention making misleading

statements against another person. I also want to stress
that the views from my previous post was entirely one
sided and should not be used to determine someone's

character. Again, I would like to point out that it was not

what I intended the post to be. Please disregard my

offensive comments in the previous post.

For what it's worth, I think that person is reliable,
willing to make sacrifices for us and a good friend. One
of the few I would definitely call when I'm in deep shit :)

I’m sorry.

2010-09-09T10:05:00.007+08:00

To describe my feelings, where should I start?

I hate how he hits the girl I care about,
Yes it's a joke; but shouldn't he show some restraint?
Normally it's just minor exchanges between friends

But this time it’s on her head,

while she’s still eating at that.

Why am I so irritated? When she’s not?

Because I find that pushing or hitting the head of another,

is a very insulting thing; he did it while she was still eating.
She nearly choked with her food halfway down her throat
yet you still pushed her head like that.

She said she was okay. That she didn't mind.

I wanted to tell him off, but I couldn’t,

Is it because I owe him too much, or that I'm a coward? -
and it was a time of celebration.

I was very angered at that, at myself.

If the same had happened to his gal, he would’ve retaliated.

Why can’t I bring myself to do the same?

I curse my own cowardice and powerlessness.

In my mind, I thought; I would lose to him in a raw fight.

He has a sharp tongue. I’m a timid guy.

I can’t protect the person that I care about.

Making her sad was even worse.

Because of what I said, she felt hurt.
Only deepened when said by someone close to her.

Things she thought her special person wouldn’t do.

No words can describe all the hurt she felt.

The hurt inside is absolutely the worse kind of pain.

Cuts and bruises can be cured by medicine.

But the heart, once broken, cannot be mended.

So how could I dare utter words about protecting her?

When I’m the one who hurts her the most?

He has a car, he has money.

I feel inferior at how he treats his girl.

I had never bought stuff for her. I have nothing.

She’s forced to take buses and go home alone.

She deserves much more than all this.

I can’t treat her right and I made her sad.

She never minded what others did to her,
but what I say could very well shatter her heart.

I’m sorry for all that I’m not and I’m sorry for all I’ve said.
Being with me even when I have nothing to give,
I thank God for bringing you into my life.

A sign from God

2010-08-31T19:41:00.001+08:00

42 hours of gameplay. *selects it*
ERROR : file is damaged

*My reaction*

Bread~

2010-07-03T23:05:00.001+08:00

Turns out the misunderstandings were caused by miscommunications through smses. Felt sorry that I ever got mad but I’m happy that I talked it out with her. But she already knew even before I told her cause she read my post.

Anyways, yesterday~

Made a few sandwiches for my dear~ and some garlic bread.

Should have taken her picture while she was eating ><

Looking at her smiling like that always makes my heart melt

And thinking of it only makes me miss you more ^~^

Some rants to let out

2010-07-01T20:11:00.002+08:00

I'm too sensitive. For some reason written words have much bigger impacts on me than speech and I often get hurt or offended easily. She sent a sms to me today that somehow got me all worked up for no reason. Immediately, I wanted to reply "yes im forgetful so what? I only wanted to make sure if i could see you on the weekend sorry for making you tell me so many times zzz”

In the end I didn’t send it and kept it to myself. I thought she was angry at me and I was also mad at her but in the end I didn’t think that she thought about it like that. I guess I’m too sensitive and her exam’s on Monday so she should be studying instead of arguing about something like this with me.

Wanted to ask her to come to the library and study with me (I need to catch up on some of my calculation subjects) but then she’ll have to come to college for that. I’ve been thinking about this for 2 weeks+ and sampai sekarang still belum study =…=.

Haiz apasal emo about this la somemore these few days oso we start showing our belang to each other… also sometimes when she criticize me a bit only i already picture her a few years later, nagging at me until it pisses me off. .___.” I hope I don’t end up that way! And I wanted to see her on Saturday cause it’s more convenient for me since it’s sort of on the way.. but she wanted me to come tomorrow.. I know la I should care more about her ma but then it’s tiring u know so I shouldn’t care about myself? I complain too much = =.

Now that I look at it, why does it seem like I’m blaming her in this post? Is that how I feel all this while? Or maybe college pressure is finally getting into me. Mr. Chee said my name out loud in the lecture hall and told me that he had a nightmare when he read my coursework exam answer. It panicked me so bad that I had to go and ask him about my paper after the lecture ended. Luckily it was just a nightmare like he told us – He haven’t marked our papers yet. I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK LA ;___; SOMEMORE I TARGET A DE LEH. IF FAIL CHAM LO.

HAIZ another coursework due next week and an exam again + presentations.. my life is also hard you know! 4 more exams left! 5 presentations left 4 more coursework left! someone pls kill me!

Confession

2010-05-22T02:32:00.001+08:00

Not as in I have any confession to make in this post or anything. I have confessions tomorrow at the church and I’m scratching my head out thinking of what to say. Oh well~

Anyways saw this funny picture about dragon ball on the net and thought I wanted to share with friends who are familiar with dragon ball ^^.

“He died and resurrected for our sake”.

Funny leh for those who understood xD. For the record he died twice and resurrected twice! Haha! Though if dragon ball turned into a religion there’d probably be fighting everywhere over 7 balls of a dragon that grants your earnest wishes~.

The real problem

2010-05-21T00:17:00.001+08:00

Ever felt wrong about something where in reality there isn’t a single problem at all? Always thinking about things that would never happen or are non-existent to begin with or purposely finding the fault of another person where the real problem is you yourself.

I used to criticize people like this a lot but recently I ended up becoming one of these people that I so despised back then. There’s nothing wrong but why am I feeling so pent up inside? It’s like I have a lot of things that I want to let out but in actuality those are the results of me overthinking about things.

It sucks when you’re feeling like that. If you never told anyone then it feels like you’re suffering alone. If you told someone it only feels like you’re trying to get attention from another person. Sometimes it might even make the other person feel bad as it might be some sort of negative remark to them whereas you’re the one who’s stirring things up for no good reason.

And it does not help either even if I keep telling myself off because my own selfish desires contradicts against what I think is right.

Guess I’m gonna stop here, cause I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore.

Bittersweet day

2010-05-19T00:19:00.003+08:00

Today’s a day that I will definitely remember for a long time to come. It's special for me, both of us too. Bitter? Yes for me, sort of a little bit. It’s where she stopped me after I told her and said, “so fast??”. Kinda ached my heart there for a bit.

Thinking back, was I too bold? Too rash? She didn't want me to come in and she wanted me to leave asap. I think I'm forcing myself on her for always asking her. If she wanted to she would've given me without me asking. Maybe we should’ve dated for another few more months? Haiz~ I think I’m too ham sap d. Please stop and knock some sense in me if I ever cross the line again ><. Anyways I'm gonna be more passive from now on ^^.

P.S. : 多么希望你是对的人. ILY <3

Problems

2010-05-10T01:15:00.001+08:00

Everyone has them. Who doesn’t? Often, we face trivial versions of them in our daily lives and we only rant or shrug them off if they’re much too insignificant for them to really affect us. Petty ones are not even worth mentioning to other people.

But sometimes, once in awhile, pops a troublesome one which can really affect not only a person’s physical and mental health but also (if that person is truly misfortunate or fortunate, however you see it) their future altogether.

Uhh.. okay now this is kinda starting to sound more like a badly written opening for a factual essay. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that people close to me recently have had to face a lot of troublesome issues (it’s mostly about the same subject though but to different people). Though it didn’t directly happen to me, it affects me in a way.

I can’t help but feel helpless because all I could do is to sympathize with my friends. In the end, I’d turn to prayers to ask Him for help and pray for their well being. I don’t know if this helps but sometimes you just need to have faith that everything will pull together somehow. After all you can’t really control what happens to other people.

Honestly, I don’t even know why it’s bothering me. It’s not like the flow of Feng Shui in my room will be disrupted or anything. And now, for some extremely odd reason I feel writing a post about religions and stuff. Seriously, there’s something wrong with me = =”. Who the heck ever said that Men are simple minded huh? Eh, seems like I’m going way off topic. I should end this post now >_>”.

Nites.

Genting

2010-05-07T12:38:00.002+08:00

Was pretty fun! Had a great time with my dear and her friends! Was pretty shy at first but got to know them later on (though I still don’t know how to write their romanized names =X).

Not gonna write much about it, it’d be a pretty lengthy post if I do (Maybe some other day, to reminisce). Only a couple of things. Insomnia perfectly describes the first night for me and her. Both of us couldn’t sleep well that night. If I knew she was awake I’d wake her up and chat or something instead haha. Anyway that’s about all I’m gonna say for now, will post some pictures instead =D. After all, a picture says a thousand words.

Can’t take my eyes off you~

WE LOVE THE WAY OUR BODIES LOOK~

The only guys in the group~

ARGH MY HAND, A CHEE HELP MEEE!! T___T

I’ll never let you go~

我喜歡　一醒來　有你在身旁~

Ip Man 2

2010-05-02T21:15:00.002+08:00

Went church this morning as usual, came home, slept 3 hours straight until around 3 something before leaving for pyramid together with my family. Movie starts at 4.45pm. So, since we were there early we walked around to kill some time. My sister wanted to buy a pink dress for her friend's wedding but didn’t found any that she likes in the end. We went inside the cinemas when the movie was about to start. Haven’t watched a movie together with my family in a long long while. I couldn’t remember the last time I watched a movie with them. Anyways..

After watching the movie I have come to a conclusion. The movie rocks. Everything about it is nothing but pure awesomeness. The only main attraction about the film is their fighting scenes. What else is there to be expected from a ip man movie? Seriously Donnie Yen’s punches are incredibly FAST. Sammo Hung was great till the end. His character was the only person who could match evenly against ip man. If it wasn’t because of his age I think he would’ve been a better fighter. I won’t say anymore incase someone haven’t watched the movie yet. Just go and watch it, this movie is definitely worth every cent that you paid for it. =D

Went dinner at Simply Penang after that. Food’s affordable and not bad. Would definitely like to go there again some time. Aside from my plain nissin noodles for dinner, I ordered Rambutan Ice Kacang for dessert! It just so happened that I have the urge to eat ice kacang haha and there’s a lot of red beans underneath it. Too bad I never really liked red beans or else they won’t just go to waste like that.

On a side note. Friends went to Kuala Selangor today. MK and Simon went to Klang and called the Klang girls out. A e was with them too! But Carmen couldn’t go for some reason. I wish I could’ve joined them though.. Oh well. Too bad for me~ There’s always next time!
PS: Saw this guy walking around trying to hold his gf's arms but she keeps walking away looking at other stuffs haha kinda pity that guy

Not again.. it’s..

2010-04-22T01:31:00.003+08:00

YES IIT’S ANOTHER EMO POST FOLKS =D. There’s been so many lately that they seem to comprise of almost more than 50% of this blog. I never intended to write so many emo posts in the first place but noooo there’s too much emooo around here =.=”.

Well, now that I’ve lighten up a bit, I guess I’ll start. I don’t get to talk to her much these days. I guess we’re probably just busy with our own businesses and some things are also going on in her own life, so I can’t expect her to spend more time with me. Likewise I have some *irritating* issues myself that made us cut short of our meetings.

I thought about calling her, but couldn't. I thought about chatting with her but something usually gets in the way.
I go on and on complaining like this, but whenever I get the chance to talk to her my mind goes completely blank ( = = ). Normally when she’s not around and if I see or read something interesting (like the news or a weird article) I would want to share it with her. I would also think about things that I want to talk to with her. But HORR when I get the chance I FORGET >___>”. I normally forget what I wanted to talk about with her. So much for trying to speak up huh?

And when I do speak up today, I said something that maybe I shouldn’t have said.. I don’t know. Until now I still don’t understand the point of this post. I guess I just didn’t want to keep all of this inside of me >_<”.

Pathethic.

2010-04-15T21:02:00.001+08:00

That about sums up what I am right now. I can’t do anything right…

Time..

2010-04-01T22:18:00.001+08:00

There’s plenty of time left. If we can’t do it today, then we can do it on another day, if not this week then maybe the week after or if it’s not possible this month it might be possible a few months later. We’re still pretty young, there’s what? plenty of years ahead of us.

Even though that’s what I said, I myself am having a hard time to have faith in that fact. The truth is I couldn’t wait. If there’s no real reason why we can’t do it then it’s pretty hard for me to accept that fact.

But, when I think about it, there are plenty of other important things ( like cleaning up my room?) that I could be doing and again, there’s no real reason why I shouldn’t do it now.

If I could just spend my time doing all those other things, eventually there will come a time where there isn’t anything else that could stop us from seeing each other. I’ll just have to wait patiently and do something meaningful; exercise perhaps? Till the day when I could meet you, when we can be together again.

Void

2010-03-06T12:03:00.001+08:00

Suddenly felt my heart ache last night but I don’t know why. Then I felt really empty all of a sudden. Looked around my room, it’s completely dark outside – the street lights aren’t working for some reason. The lights in my room aren’t on either – I didn’t turn them on. I walked out to the hall, everyone else was sleeping so it was completely dark. Somehow, looking at myself surrounded by darkness magnified my feeling of emptiness.

I wonder, do other people feel this empty from time to time? I couldn’t stand this feeling, I wanted to sleep so I could forget about it. Though it was still early, I went straight to bed after sending her an sms knowing that she’s already home. I guessed I figured out where that heart ache came from right after that – I miss her. But what about this feeling of emptiness? Feels weird. I’m weird x_X

P.S. God bless everyone with good results next Monday! Hope we all pass with flying colors =D – maybe that’s asking for too much =X

Dazed and Confused

2010-03-01T21:54:00.001+08:00

The timing couldn’t have been better… it happened right when I was watching 1 litre of tears…Even though I’ve already suspected it for some time … What should I do now? I can only hope that I’ll make the right choices…

Happy Chinese New Year!

2010-02-14T00:15:00.001+08:00

Happy CNY everyone! May all of your new year wishes come true! Family healthy la, get boyfriend/girlfriend la, win a lot from gambling la, get good exam results, do well in business; all come true then ma best lo!

Well, I spent the first few minutes of my new year crying... But it’s probably a good thing since if something bad happens now, something good will happen later right? I sure hope so! Ah if only my torment would end! That would be the greatest wish come true… but that’s like, impossible that something like that would happen right?

Why?

2010-02-06T18:33:00.001+08:00

Why is she always like this? What’s wrong with her…? I should have went to badminton today… I shouldn’t have stayed at home. The moment she came home today she started lashing out her temper at everything, the door, the table, everything in the house including me. What did I ever do to you? I just don’t understand. Why are you doing this to me? How long has it been? When did all of this started? You were different back then. I guess it’s already been over 10 years. It’s been too long I can’t even remember anymore. I hate this… I should have went out at least… I’d rather stay out than here, the only thing that’s keeping me here is everything else other than you. But I wonder, if you were gone, would I really be happy? Why is it so hard to decide.. I can’t even make up my mind.. I can only wonder why…

One of those days…

2010-01-31T00:08:00.002+08:00

Well, today’s one of those days where I wonder, are things like “bad luck” planned before hand? Or is it just a coincidence? For some reason there seems to something similar to a domino-effect when things like this happen, where something goes wrong and another thing comes up which is a completely separate matter to the first issue and it all happens at the same time, on the same day… I guess it was a mistake to call it a domino-effect since it doesn’t relate to one another but then again, I couldn’t think of any better name for this =x (tell me if there’s really a proper name for this ya! xD)

It’s been a really shitty day… First, I completely forgot about my friend’s birthday celebration today and went for something else instead. When I tried to rush home after that, nobody is willing to send me anywhere, not even to the nearest station (well, it’s partially my fault that this happened… and anyways I shouldn’t rely too much on other people since they have their own issues to deal with).

The only thing is that I just can’t stand the bloody asshole with that fucking irritating mouth of his that is always full of shit which no one even cares about most of the time. Fuck you, you think I don’t want to drive home myself? and fucking stop teasing me just because I don’t have a license, it has absolutely nothing to do with it, give me a fucking car and I’ll fucking pass the driving test for you in a month you fucking prick. Oh and it’s my problem that I have no car and had to rely on you? Fuck it, let’s see how you feel when you’re in deep shit and the rest of us says that it’s “your problem” you fucking jerk. But don’t worry I’ll never degrade myself to your level and behave the way that you do because I’m nothing like the scumbag that you are.

So I went back myself and noticed that my dad’s car wasn’t there, meaning that my family isn’t at home and that I won’t be able to attend the celebration on time now. I gave up on trying to go to the celebration and decided to just sleep and rest instead. When I woke up, the first thing I heard was my mom screaming down my ears - it’s a daily routine, so I guess it’s okay but still sort of uncomfortable especially since I’m still feeling pissed over the incident in the afternoon. Later at night I was helping my friend but I ended screwing it up and owing him RM120 instead, which led me to wonder if one case of bad luck leads to another, damn it.

Well, I’m going to sleep soon and with that I could only hope for nothing but better days in the days to come. Nights.

Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari PV

2010-01-16T23:43:00.001+08:00

ED song from 1 of the animes I’ve watched recently, Bakemonogatari. Just felt like putting this up for no reason ^^”.

Twilight in Hogwarts?

2010-01-15T21:19:00.001+08:00

Seriously, this made my day lol. Exam’s at 9 tomorrow and I’m still facebook-ing, damn.

Angst

2010-01-14T20:33:00.001+08:00

Can’t help but think that someday I’ll get killed by my own mother, literally – I wouldn’t be surprised if she does that anyway… Both my sister and I agree that our mother is a horrible person and so we keep our distance from her. She always cares about “face” and respect, she’s so touchy that even the slightest increase in my or my sister’s tone when speaking with her (or any smallest provocation) would cause her to erupt and it’ll take the rest of the day for her to calm down. She’s the kind of person who, when she wants something done that way, it must be done that way, you can’t go against her or she’ll whine and then bitch about it and then blame and curse you to hell because you “offended” her.

Luckily for us, dad is always there to help and he’s usually the one who stabilizes her when she’s moody. On the other hand every time she fumes, dad will always be the one who suffers the most. It’s a pain being the middleman – moreover that it’s between your wife and kids, plus he has to face her day and night and they sleep in the same room.. I don’t know what I’d do if dad wasn’t around.

Sometimes I wish that I had a better mother but maybe the fault doesn’t lie with her, but with me? Maybe I’m the source of her problems? It’s a mystery how my dad could end up with a wife like this (or a son like this). It could be the frustrations of bringing up children that turned her into what she is today… bah, enough of that, she did brought me up after all.

Sometimes I also fear of what could happen to my future wife (if I every marry that is), especially since I grew up in this kind of environment. Would I marry someone like my mother? Would I treat my wife horribly? Or if my kids ever end up like me; how would I handle them then? Thoughts like these have been plaguing my mind today.

I just wish my mother would be happy for once, cause when she is happy, peace in the house is guaranteed and I could turn my attention into other things. Speaking of other things, my finance paper will be on this Saturday and I still can’t quite figure out how to answer the past year papers. I’ve managed to pass all my other papers ever since diploma (some barely over the passing mark) but this time, I think that I may actually fail some papers. Well, I’m prepared for the worst anyways…

P.S. LWS stop stalking my blog, once a month/week is okay, don’t stalk it everyday

At that moment…

2010-01-11T22:25:00.001+08:00

I hoped for an argument between them… then I went into my room and thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why would I do that..? I’m worthless...”.

没有如果

2010-01-08T01:22:00.001+08:00

如果我说爱我没有如果
真的爱我就放手一搏
还想什么还怕什么
快牵起我的手

These are lyrics from 1 of the songs that I like, kinda got me thinking for a little bit..though I doubt that I’d be able to do as the lyric says haha.

世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死
而是我就站在你面前你却不知道我爱你

Another part of the lyrics from the same song hmm..
Bah, just random emo-ing since I’m sort of in the mood for it~

Anyways, I wonder if I’ll ever get to posting the pictures from the Sabak Bernam trip? Not to mention the Taylor’s lakeside campus visit as well, I keep breaking promises with myself lately… I usually have problems about breaking promises with other people - I have no qualms about doing it with myself though, I wonder why is that so? Anyways, I’m getting sleepy so this’ll be the end for tonight. Nights folks (I wonder if anybody other than myself reads this? haha).

It’s that time again…

2010-01-05T17:11:00.002+08:00

Time for exams again! Dear Lord, please don’t waste your time helping me on my studies, I’d do badly either way.. Instead, maybe it’d be better if you could make me a big income earner sometime in the near future, it’s not asking for too much right? xD

btw, going skating on thursday! been months since i’ve gone skating, can’t wait!
oh and happy belated new year! lol?

Goodbye Jon!

2009-10-13T20:48:00.001+08:00

19th September

Jon’s going to UK, and with him gone ~~who’s gonna play my maple account for me? T_T~~ I’ll lose a precious maple friend and a good lvling partner ><. He’ll be leaving around midnight so me, tcc, farhan and lws went to see him off at the airport before his flight.

Stopped by at tcc’s house before we went to the airport.

tcc’s dog, ELMO~! cute as always!

When we arrived, we parked outside the KLIA entrance, which I don’t think we’re supposed to due to the obviously freakishly and not to mention HUGE sign on the floor that says NO PARKING.

But then, if we’re not supposed to park there, then why are those people doing the same thing? Sampai kereta polis pun park sana, yes, we parked right next to the police car and the officer was still inside of it and he didn’t care 1 bit, meh, good loh, save RM50. Aiya, anything happen just point at the bmw there la, saga he wun kacao 1 la ~_~

Met him inside, had a little chat with him and his family, and took a group pic together with him.

TCC WHO U TRYING TO TANDUK? LOL NOOB KIA HAHAHA

He went into the terminal at 12am. Tcc, you should’ve sung “say goodbye” and farhan, you should’ve sung “bye bye (mariah carey)” to him while waving our hands together~ LOL.

And.. Jon’s off, T.T

On the way back…

Took this pic before I left~ Yes, I nothing better to do~

Have a safe trip Jon! (Oh wait, this was nearly a month ago.. you’re already safely in UK!)

And before I close this post…

XD.

Freedom!

2009-10-12T10:58:00.001+08:00

14th September

Last day of exam! Freedom at last! After the exam, I went to Time Square and lepak with my coursemates. Initially, we wanted to go for movies, but we cancelled our plans due to several reasons, so I went bowling instead with my classmates while the rest went shopping at Sungei Wang. It was fun for the first round or so, but got tiring and boring after the next. On top of that..

I broke the thumb nail on my right hand, hurts a lot, so I had to bowl with my left hand again.

Mana tahu, of all the heavenly luck in the world that I never got to have I broke my friggin left thumb nail too.

.. and it’s worse than the right thumb!

Removing the broken nail was the easy part, washing the blood off and trying to reach out for the handphone and wallet in my pockets was a tragic nightmare for my sweet and gentle little thumb. WHY???? WHAT DID MY THUMBS EVER DID TO DESERVE THIS? T_T

My classmates went home after they finished bowling, so I decided to look for boyboy and my other ex coursemates who came on that day, turned out they were in the cinema watching movie! isk, if only I didn’t go bowling.. plus my fingers hurt a lot while I was sms-ing them.

Their movie ends in about an hour, so apa buat, I called the ones that were in Sungei Wang and it turns out that they too were about to leave. At this point, I was like, .___.” “Shit, what do I do now?”. What to do, I jalan-jalan myself around Time Square lo. I wanted to look for the arcade but I couldn’t find it in the end, instead I saw some couples having their sweet couple moments in the upper floors of Time Square where the place is almost completely devoid of people. Then there’s a food court at the top floor which I never knew existed. I looked through the menu and my conclusion? Food sux, not worth your money. Then there’s also another cinema at the top floor. Hmm, okay, so I did some recon, when are we going to send in our army? XD

Met up with the gang later and decided to eat our dinner at this place, where there’s like, a ton of foreigners eating there, koreans, japanese, chinese from china, and of course, AH MOH KIA~ Don’t know what that place is called, but there’s a lot of stalls set up by the roadside on a downward sloping hill.

Alfresco dining, anyone?

Eh, sorry here, we call it “kai lou pin sek”

Me and boyboy went to Chang Vai’s place later to stay for the night. On our way, we met some rempit wannabes or rempit-to-be kids at the highway nearby his house. Gawd, where the heck did those kids come from? Do they actually think they look cool? They look pathetic doing all those stupid things with their crappy bicycles. Inilah harapan rakyat malaysia, calon-calon bagi UMNO pada masa hadapan, meh. Didn’t dare take my phone out to snap a picture, they’re not actually small kids you know and I don’t feel like losing my phone again, sorry ~_~. Spent the night at Vai’s place and went home on the next day.

18th September

Went out again with the old gang after they finished their last paper on Friday. Dota until dinner time~ we had yong tau fu at some shop in Wangsa Maju, it’s at a residential area and not outside where at the shops are, so you can pretty much say that only the people who’s familiar with the area knows how to get there. Later that night, we decided to visit a newly opened shopping mall nearby, Wangsa Walk

Seriously, why Wangsa Walk? It sound like a name for a park or a street.

TGV is not open yet, so no movies, dang >< Nothing to do, walked around and went home shortly after, who say wanna go dim sum ah? cakap saja tau~

Last day last day!

2009-09-14T04:09:00.002+08:00

of what? exams!… but haiz…

我要死啦。。明天有考试到今天还没读完

Simon n SK day

2009-09-12T23:41:00.001+08:00

Wednesday

Gila day for me, for one, I studied the whole night for M&FS test! … And I gg-ed the test! LOL. haiz… the questions all ar… I don’t understand and macam never see before so I don’t know how to answer. I couldn’t even answer the normal essay ones, coz I forgot the points that I studied the night before >_>. Die lo, the other day (first paper) already sad like shiet, and now this again. Guess I never change do I? =\

Not gonna slack anymore? talk only… haiz

Then ar.. my M&FS lecturer wrote this in his facebook.

swinging his "red sword" like nobody business. Aiyo....another casualty..told you to "answer what the question asked, not what you know!", why never listen? Geram aku!!

大侠的红色短剑需要休息了。。阿妹，走！来去喝茶！

“the bloody red sword of a swordsman need to rest, ah mei, let’s go yam cha!”

红色短剑再次出鞘！该斩就斩！该杀就杀！绝不留情！啾！啾！啾！我来啦！阿弟，阿妹，站旁边一点。。

“The bloody red sword shall once thrive again! can pancung, pancung! can kill, kill! no mercy! ciu! ciu! ciu! I'm coming! Sai lou, Ah mui, stand aside!”

x_X gg~ .

Well, after the exam I went to meet up with my old p&p gang =D Oh how time flies! Already knew you guys for over a year! Too bad Raymond, Yeet Mei, Kevin and Mun Kit couldn’t join us this time =(. Anyway, this time we were meeting up to celebrate Simon and Sook Kuan’s birthday the week before and of all the places they could’ve chosen, I never ever expected them to choose Amcorp Mall wtf! It’s the mall near the Taman Jaya lrt station. Some pics while on the LRT..

Eh, Simon! talking on the phone oso macam poser!

I admit, I suck at taking pics! All oso blur!

After we arrived at Taman Jaya, we had to wait awhile for SK so we decided to wait out at A&W – I seem to be going to A&W a lot these days ~_~ last few weeks oso A&W.

For those who knows Simon ar, who oso know he cannot resist taking pictures where ever he goes wan la. Sampai rootbeer float oso wanna take picture!

This one’s from 1 of the picture frames inside A&W, looks real hor?

leaving le!

Amcorp Mall!

After that we went inside and looked for the restaurant Sock Chuen wanted to go.

This is the place! Korean restaurant huh?

It was empty when we got there, and like usual, Simon go and take pics again, here are some that he took!

and this is how it actually looks like! miniature figurines and some decorative drums!

Next we shall see the glorious food that we feasted on!

Simon’s Ginseng Tea~

SK’s friend dumplings!

No Idea what this was LOL, but 2 of us ordered the same thing.. forgot who though =X

Sock Chuen’s Kimchi Soup!

Simon’s Japanese Fried Rice

My Korean Fried Rice!

People time!

Sock Chuen! Huai Nv Ren! Haha, still remember this name!

Joanne! Leng lui p&p boss!

Woan Yih! Always Smiling!

Wei, I eating la! shoo shoo!

SK II~

Simon~ See who’s behind LOL

Lai I kacau you again! LOL

Simon and Carmen!

Cake!

Hurry! Write your wishes on the cards while they’re still camwhoring!

Happy Belated Birthday Simon!

Happy Belated Birthday SK!

Reading~

You man man read la.. I go eat the cake first!

Sang the birthday song and took some group pics before leaving~

More pics at facebook for those who want to see~

Later Joanne, Sock Chuen and Woan Yih went home while I went to KLCC with SK and Carmen, while waiting for Simon to collect his pc fair gaji and catch up with us to see movie… supposedly. Tapi he ffk later, say malas wanna come and SK don’t want to go home late alone, so, movie plan cancelled X_X.

Then we gai gai around lo, We went to a toy shop and played around with the children’s toys haha! The sales people keep looking at us! Then Carmen ar… she so happy keep looking at baby stuff! 55 get married with your bf and make baby la! LOL

Walk walk until the fountain pulak, then take some pics there until around 8pm before we went back (pics at facebook). Haiz, I really wanted to watch movie la >< Came home macam zombie like dat, feel like wanna sleep tapi still play pc lol.

That’s all for today and…

Till, next time! See ya! Really gonna miss you guys!

Saturday

Sux, studied whole night for law, nothing went inside my head. I even forgot the case names haih, (those who studied law should know how important it is to know the names of the cases) pergi write wrong name summore… GG la, on a positive note, I only have 1 paper left on monday (yea, im going to overnite study on sunday night again xD)!

anyway, came home in the afternoon and ko-ed all the way till 8pm++. die, how to sleep now? LOL oh well, guess I’ll manage somehow, no point frowning anyways ~_~

nites folks!

Thanks.

2009-09-12T01:53:00.002+08:00

Just wanna say thanks to the people who wished me luck for my exams. It may not seem like much to you guys, but it meant a lot for me, really! thanks! =D

P.S. Gonna add in more oil for tonight! I'm not planning to fail law!

BBQ (continued)

2009-09-09T23:06:00.001+08:00

Finally decided to get my lazy ass up and update this post =X should be relatively short, since almost everything was covered in part 1 lol.

anyway after the chores were done, some of us, including me were in the hall playing cards (chor dai d)

While the others were busy with…

hot hot fire

the “flame wizard” LOL!

Before we started bbq-ing, we crapped around for awhile and

Eh apa ni? Wa guava fruits with plastic! And it was swarming with ants >_>

Bah, forget bout the guavas, imma kill you damn mosquitoes!

Starting bbq-ing after that and, eh? what? we have new chef this time!

Farhan, I know now ramadhan la, but this is not the bazaar! LOL
Well, he cooked for the rest of the night anyways~

Eh? Nothing left already? Ala… I syok syok masak-masak just now…

After the food fest, we did nothing much already, watched tv and played cards the whole night, then lws and au yong went home and the rest of us went to sleep shortly after that. Next day, went home after having lunch at the usual kopitiam. Cheers!

Gloomy Sunday…

2009-09-07T00:00:00.001+08:00

Yesterday’s exam was a huge blow for me. Made me feel really pissed at myself for not studying earlier =(. Felt moody the whole day and I did nothing but rubbish today. Watched tv, slept on the couch for a few hours (with the tv on), facebook, tv/sleep again- haiz.

Now on skype with jon and tf, didn’t know what else to do so i asked tf to teach me how to fold the RM1 note into…

Sad Agong =(

Happy Agong =D

Nites!

Mr. Lonely

2009-09-05T09:24:00.002+08:00

Currently at college, mistook the PM sign for AM at my timetable... As a result I'm 5 hours early at college with no one else with me and nothing better to do other than rotting myself away at the college computer lab. Meh, I'll go back to facebooking now =X

P.S. the Sunday bbq post will have to wait. sorry!

Wish I could press the rewind button!

2009-09-03T02:52:00.001+08:00

Saturday

Woke up, went to badminton like usual. Then Tsun Fei came but he didn’t join us in our games. Later went to lunch in ss15 (taylors, metropolitan and into college area). While we were on our way there, bloody Sze Wei and Jon keep showing their middle fingers while their car were next to Adrian’s LOL (I was in Adrian’s car). Then what did me and Adrian do? SHOW BACK LA XD. Especially when were in front of them, just wave the middle finger at the middle of the car LOL, they sure can see from behind of us~.

So we went to this shop here, the noodles were great! AND WTF I FORGOT TO TOOK A PICTURE OF THE NOODLES T____T. We had to wait in line for awhile cause the shop was full, and wtf, Sze Wei got a parking just right outside of the shop! Me, Adrian and TF had to walk for abit from our parking lots, lucky the weather wasn’t all that hot on that day. Most of us ordered pork noodles cause they ran out of curry chicken noodles when we got there. Adrian gila 1, he poured like, half of the homemade chili from bottle into his noodles! Again I forgot to take pictures T.T. Next we had a little debate of whether we should go to Asia Cafe or Taylors.

In the end, we decided to go to Taylor’s University College (Business). Huh? Go there for what ah?

Go inside there play pool la =P

Couldn’t find a signpost, so I decided to take this pic instead. Club 7 Pool & Pub. Bugger, there’s a shop like this inside the college?! I wish my college had 1 too LOL.

And the games began. Needless to say, from the way we were playing pool, much laughter were ensued =P. Balls flying out of the table, black ball going in before the game ended and white ball going in together with the black. Also, a quote from TF, “Eh it’s not that we win! You guys lose only!”

While we were playing TF ordered a drink cause he was thirsty or something.

TF’s blue lemon or something, friggin sour wei!

We finished around 4 and after the game Adrian went back home while me, Suzy and Jon went to TF’s home in Subang to unpack our stuffs and to get some rest.

Our (Me, Jon and Sze Wei) sleeping spot later in the night!

Right in front of the balcony!

Remember when I mentioned that we were supposed to be resting? Well, it’s cause we were planning to play badminton again tonight but…

INILAH PANGGIL RESTING, ALL PLAYING DRAGONICA PVP! Shouting from across rooms summore!

Well, that aside, when the time came, we went to this place called 3K, Kompleks Kemudahan Kemasyarakatan and had our game there

They have swimming pools as well some other facilities there other than badminton courts, I didn’t bothered to find out =X

For that whole hour and a half, we were basically the only few people inside the court LOL (including 1 Uncle for the first 20 minutes). That uncle joined us for 1 match but he zao after he was done playing with us, he was quite good! He lost against Sze Wei and Jon cause he was teaming up with me xP. And, as always we sure siao siao 1 la at some point during the game XD. Some stupid things happened la… “SORRY SORRY~ SHAWTY SHAWTY~ GEE GEE GEE GEE” LOOOOL and also…

“KYAA!!! BU YAO!! WO BU YAO!!” LOL

Nah, TF didn’t beat the crap out of Sze Wei! Story behind the picture? Hmm.. TF, “Pucker! Sei Suzy splash water at me huh, I’M GONNA POUR THE WHOLE BOTTLE ON U!!”Kejar-kejar ensued and poor Suzy jatuh after running around for a bit LOL then he kena flooded and his whole baju basah after that! Me n Jon were laughing like cock down there XD.

Me, Eh i camera shy le ><

After badminton we were too lazy to look for somewhere else to eat, so we ate at a nearby A&W restaurant near the complex.

The food was ok la, fast food ma… cannot expect too much. Then somebody said to go mamak at 3am later. Oh and when Sze Wei ordered a pancake, this happened while he and TF were eating it.

Some memorable quotes from TF. “Pucker! not 1, not 2 but 3 break!!”. “SEI JON never tell me earlier! Don’t know the part I eat got the piece or not leh! Gonna have a hard time shitting tomorrow! All stuck in my ass!” LOL

Later that night we went back to TF’s home and spent the night there. Then I went to sleep with Jon and Sze Wei (He was the first to knock out, guess the game was too taxing for him? lol, he slept at 12 leh!). Yet another quote from TF, “Who the hell said 3 am go mamak ah?? SUCKER ALL SLEEPING ALREADY!”LOL. It was like 2am when he said that haha!.

Sunday (BBQ DAY)

Next morning, woke up. Sze Wei apparently woke up early, He was in the room watching movie with TF. Then I realized there were some sort of strange blue ink inside of my right hand’s finger nails. I was like wth? and when I saw Jon’s face I was like WTF and LOL! Why ar?

Tengok ni! I oso kena LOL!

So the first thing I did that morning was to wash off the markings on my face. Then I went into the room and looked at Sze Wei’s face and LOL’ed for a bit. I said “Wei! You still haven’t wash it off ar?” Sze Wei said “Huh? Wash what?” HE DIDN’T REALIZE LOL AND THAT BUDAK SIAL TF ACT SO INNOCENT HAHAHA. And Jon was still sleeping.

Well, after some laughs we decided to call tcc and ask if he’s coming to subang or not (we told him to come at 11.30 in the morning, it was already 11 when we called him). So he said no, and decided to meet us in tesco at cheras instead. First we told him that we’d be going to cheras at 11.30 and that we’ll be at tesco at 3.00 pm. In the end hor we play play play until 2pm before we got our lazy asses off and out of Subang LOL. Well, we had lunch in Asia Cafe before that and I forgot to take pictures of the food again T_T. Nvm la, I’ll take the next time I go there again!

We went to tesco and met up with farhan, victor and tcc. While we about to go shop for bbq we got a call from lws. He and au yong were at tf’s house already LOL, so we asked him to wait or come shop with us at tesco, he opted to go to McDonalds in UCSI and kap lui instead. =___=

Sze Wei paid for the non-halal food while Farhan paid for the rest of the stuff. Total was about 200+ I think. Sounds kinda little for 10+ people hor? Then we went to TF’s house and unload all of our baggage, as well as the food…

LOOKS LITTLE HOR?

Anyway, after some chit chat, we were cleaned the place up while TF, Jon and SW went out in the car to look for a spot to dump the garbage later.

Gotong royong~

Oi! don’t piss on road! LOL

“Farhan can I spray at you ah?”

Farhan was purposely sweeping all the water at Victor LOL! Wished I got a better shot of this =(

See this Victor! See what he do! Enlarge the picture and look at the droplets of water in the air LOL. Sampai the neighbours looking HAHA.

What was I doing then ar? I was moving stuff around la. =X

(Seems like this is getting too long LOL. To be continued…Next up, pictures will be taken from lws’ facebook instead!)

Welcome to my world!

2009-08-28T23:23:00.001+08:00

Let’s see… my first post… What should I blog about? OH I KNOW XD I’ll start with my room!

See the tv there? Hasn’t been used in ages xD. I used to use it a lot back when I was still playing the PsOne, but I stopped after I got broadband in my room, I got addicted to RO (Ragnarok Online) instead. My notes on my bed? they’re arranged in a way where I can always efficiently select the notes that I need!

And here’s my trusty fan! One of the few things that I can’t survive without in my room! And of course MY BAO BEI PC! I swear, I wouldn’t know what to do at home without my PC T_T. Oh, and notice that printer up there? It’ll forever be out of ink and paper~. Books are placed in a manner where I can easily reach them, just imagine all the trouble I’ll have to face, if the books were to be placed inside the drawer nearby ~_~

See my study table? So many things there hor? I know I’m a hardworking kid la, study until notes here and there, aiseh I very shy if you keep staring at my notes ><. Finally, there’s my sweet ol bed where I slept on every night for the past 6 years. In case you’re wondering, No, i don’t sleep with the pile of notes on my bed, unless I’m beat up ~_~. I usually dump them on my chair instead before I sleep xD.

Ok la, enough about my room. People usually blog about their daily lives right? Well, today I went to college and then had a dating session with Mr. Lok. lolwut dating?? YA LA, I WAS THE ONLY STUDENT IN CLASS! Apparently, everybody else decided to play hookey on the last day of the sem. So I sat there, face to face with Mr. Lok for that 1 hour. Instead of studying we talked until that session ended lol.

After that, I went home as usual, and made a decision about my online gaming habit. Today will be my last day playing XDO and any other online games, It’s been really fun playing, there were ups & downs, but mostly downs, which has been quite stressful for me and my exam’s just around the corner (next week to be specific). So I’ll be stopping for awhile. Till then, all the best for me in my studies and exams! XD